Gattuso

WANTED: Professional Football Manager @ USC Palermo

With Gennaro Gattuso’s desk all cleared out, the bearded Italian having taken his pipe, his bottles of whiskey and his sailor cap, chartered the merchant vessel, The Karaboudjan, and set off to have adventures with an intrepid Belgian reporter (he looks like Captain Haddock off of Tintin is the joke, philistine) after only three months with the salty sea-dog…

league cup

League Cup Third Round – Unlikely Event Match Previews

It’s upon us. Football fans across the globe sit still, watching their countdown timers with bated breath, most having taken the day off work due to a mixture of sheer excitement, exhilaration and nerves. In next door rooms, children cry out, having not eaten for days on end, their parents too preoccupied with making the…

dicanio

The Mackemned United – The Untold Di Canio Story

The Damned United, David Peace’s imagining of Brian Clough’s tumultuous tenure at the helm of Leeds United, was an outright literary phenomenon, eventually spawning a film with Nick Park-puppet-look-a-like and esteemed actor, Michael Sheen. With that in mind, Perez Shilton aims to bandwagon Peace’s success, utilising far less tact, nuance and subtly and far more liberties with truth,…

qatar

5 Reasons the 2022 Qatar World Cup Will Be A Glorious Success

Here at Perez Shilton, we like to take an oppositional view to received opinion, no matter how overwhelmingly well supported these opinions are, either by esteemed commentators or by concrete facts and evidence. We pride ourselves on championing left-field ideals, radical new thinking which sets us apart from you rank-and-file plebeians, with your pillows in the…

hansen

Alan Hansen – A Retrospective

Alan Hansen has announced that he will be stepping down from the Match of the Day couch, then walking away from it, exiting the studio and going home forever. As the tributes pour in for the man credited by Mark Lawrenson as being “the first person to say anything on the subject of football ever”, Perez Shilton takes…